My Writing

Story Scene

Analee @ Book Snacks17 Comments

I’ve been bouncing around the idea to write a story for several months now, and I’ve finally strengthened my resolve to go through with it! Now, I’m sure I’m going to abandon it when schoolwork and exams get really tough, but for now I’m hoping to stick with it! I’ve thought about it bit, and I don’t yet have a very clear idea of the plot, but I have something, and that’s all I’m focusing on at the moment. 🙂

It’s not much, but this is what I have so far:

I am drowning. Or soon will be. The ocean encases my lower body, tugging me down. Blue waves rage around me, yet I feel fire burning my arms. I feel no pain in my arms, as if the fire is not even there. How is this possible? What air I have left is growing short, coming in quick raspy breaths, and I start to suffocate. I feel the ground tremble. My legs are pulling me under, yet my upper torso and arms are in flames. Oxygen clouds around me, and I can barely see through the smoky air. I try to fight against it all, trying to stay above water, focusing on breathing, while trying to douse the flames captured on my arms. I have no idea what is going on right now; how could I be drowning, burning and suffocating at the same time? It makes no sense. I kick and try to swim, refusing to die now. But then I had no choice; smoke blackened my vision, and the water swallowed me whole.

I’d love it if you comment and provide constructive criticism, I always have space for improvement! I’d appreciate no hateful comments, simply some advice or thoughts you may have. Thank you!

-A

17 thoughts on “Story Scene”

    • Thank you, I’m glad you like it! That means a lot to me. ❤ I love writing and if by some chance I could someday get this (whatever 'this' will become) published, it would be a dream come true. 😀 If it does get published, and you read it, I hope you won't be disappointed. I appreciate your vote of confidence, and thank YOU for reading this! ❤

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  2. Wow, I loved it. This piece is incredibly beautiful, keep up the good work. 🙂
    And thank you, reading this inspired me to get back into writing (I was having a bad writer’s block but this helped!)

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    • Thank you for your kind words! ❤ I'm very critical when it comes to my own work so I'm glad you liked it. And you're welcome! Writer's block is quite a bother, I find it hard to get past it sometimes, so I'm glad this helped you. Good luck on your writing, I look forward to reading it if you decide to post any of it! 🙂

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  3. Wow, I loved how descriptive your writing is. I could really picture what was happening in my head. The only thing I would fix is that your character is drowning in water but then you have this line “I feel the ground tremble.” Other than that it seems great and I would love to read more! (I was actually thinking of putting my writing up, but I’m a little scared… you’re really brave)

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    • Thank you! When I was writing this I had this whole image and everything but I wasn’t sure if people would be able to see it as well, so thank you for confirming it. Thank you for your feedback! Now that you mention it it does seem a bit out of place, I’m going to have to think of a better line. 🙂 I’d love to read your writing, please put it up! I’m sure it’s amazing. Thanks again for your kind words and advice, Casey, it means a lot to me! ❤

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  5. Keep going! I like the vivid images so far and I want to know what is happening to the character. You did a great job of building suspense. 🙂

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    • 🙂 Thank you! I’m kind of stuck at the moment as to how I want to continue the story, but I have some ideas I’m branching out to, hopefully I’ll have something written down soon. I appreciate your support, I’m glad you like what I have so far. ❤

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  8. I just saw your story scene #2 post, and I realized I didn’t see the first one, so here I am, doing it in chronological order 😉
    I absolutely love this! Really well written, and I’m excited to read other scenes (I will start by scene two right away, ahah) ! 😀

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